Saturday, January 18, 2014

I'm not perfect

It happened last night.  At about 10pm, I fell off the wagon.....  I have been clean for a couple weeks now, very regimented.  However, last night I was sitting in bed and got the urge and could not stop it.  I caved.  It was unstoppable.

I ate about a thousand dark chocolate peanut M&M's.  I couldn't stop.  I have been at about 14-1800 calories a day and no serious amounts of sugar at all for a couple weeks.  Last night I went off the rails.
In the past, this would have sent me on a downward spiral.  I would be at it for good, eating whatever, whenever.  I now wake up, shrug my shoulders, and say, "I'm not perfect."  I will be back at the good diet today and move forward.  I think I have gained some perspective of the years and understand my limitations now.

This is not to say I give up now.  I am as focused on a strong 2014 as ever.  I just am more understanding of me.  I try to limit the caloric damage to not so often.  Also, I make sure it's worth it.  I do not simply binge on anything within the striking distance of my arms.  I mae sure I think it's something I enjoy.

Last night, I enjoyed those M&M's!!!  I will say, the thought of them right now is a little sickening.  When I said I ate a thousand, I meant it :)

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